Going to a private Christian college, I am finding myself constantly immersed in Jesus. And while I was honestly expecting to get a little bit tired of it (3 required chapels a week really seems like a lot), it has had the complete opposite effect. I am finding out new aspects of my faith that I never knew existed, or could exist, or that I wanted to exist. I am suddenly more aware of how I worship, how I show my dedication to my Creator, and it’s quite the freeing feeling.
If there’s anyone else like me, which I’m positive there is (although I could just be weird), singing worship songs is a strange experience because you never really know what to do with your body. Sometimes you feel like you should raise your hands, or close your eyes. Or perhaps you look at people that do such things and find them strange. I have been on both ends of the spectrum, and this journey has led to me a realization. Here is an entry adapted from my journal explaining my thoughts:
So often, I find myself questioning my worshipping techniques. “Should I raise my hands?” “Am I moving my legs too much?” “Is it bad if I don’t raise my hands today?” “Do I have to close my eyes?” These questions are only some of the very ones that ran through my head tonight. But then I realized something: If you have to be asking if you should or should not be doing something in worship, is it truly an act of worship?
Last week, I had a breakthrough moment. I got so caught up in worshipping that I forgot to worry about what I should and should not do, and instead just worshipped, moment by moment, however I felt God calling me to. Who cares that sometimes I sang (loudly and not very prettily, I must add), and sometimes I didn’t. Why does it matter if I raised my hands, brought them down and folded them, then held them out in front of me all within a minute of a single song?
The point is, it shouldn’t matter if my knees are going crazy bouncing to the music or not, as soon as I let myself go and truly worship, I not only find myself, but, more importantly, I find God.
Hope you’re having a great week.
Love, Just Jo